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Updated: Nov 4, 2020

Oct 22, 2020

If you're living in America right now, your mind is reeling.

There’s the dreaded third wave of the corona virus, just about to crash on our shore, which has me (and plenty of other people, I'm sure) wondering if we should be doing something to prepare. Laying in canned food, squeezing in a last dentist or hairdresser appointment, getting a flu shot …?

(Stephanie got one yesterday. She was pretty sick last night, but today she feels worlds better.)

The one time I got a flu shot, I got the flu. But maybe that was a flu-ke (get it?). Needless to say I’m not looking forward to getting another.

Today the thing I’m worried about most is my dad. He’s in his 80’s, and just started living alone. If we’re in for another lockdown, will he see anyone? He’s in great health, up on current events, and one of my favorite conversationalists, so this isn’t a case of “oh my poor decrepit elderly dad.” But I don’t like the idea of him being alone for weeks on end. We had discussed him coming here, but recently he got a dog and I doubt he wants to leave her so soon. Nor can he bring her, since I live with (as I call them) two frenzied wildebeests, as well as Rafael and our cat, Pirata.

The last Presidential debate is tonight. The Supreme Court nomination of Amy Coney Barrett moved forward today over the objections of every Democratic senator. There are 13 days left to the election.

Last night we watched a very strange press conference featuring National Intelligence Director John Ratcliffe and FBI Director Chris Wray, announcing that Iran and Russia have American voter information said to be harmful to President Trump. The press wasn’t allowed to ask questions. The information was scant and peculiar. The so-called Proud Boys may be involved, a pro-Trump group that swears it isn’t racist, and maybe it isn’t, but Trump likes them back, which isn’t a very good sign. Apparently threatening emails were sent to Democrats in Alaska, Arizona, Texas and elsewhere warning them to change their party affiliation to Republican and vote for Trump.

The voters’ real names and addresses were used, and the threat was unmistakable: “Vote for Trump or we will come after you” — signed, the Proud Boys.

This story broke at the end of a long day that frankly just wore me out. Honestly, the Trump administration has worn me out. Me and a lot of other people.

We are living in a state of suspension right now, or anyway I am, wondering whether to worry about COVID (are we in more danger of contracting it now that we’re so used to it we have to remind ourselves to be scared?), or a rigged election, or violence after the election, or foreign powers getting a hold of our identities, or whether our national intelligence agency is actually in on that suspicious email threat thing, or …

Oh and Barack Obama started stumping for Joe yesterday. So good to see him. God bless Barack.

But I’m tired. There’s too much to be afraid of, or dread, or hope won’t happen, or wish was already behind us. And I’m not sleeping most nights lately. This morning I watched the sun rise.

I think we’re all about to break, if you want to know the truth.

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